bottles in the club

a place on earth

Tough day at the day job (and its not even close to over - dagger) so the CL's gonna have to take you back to a number 1 hit from 1987. Rock this shit.

[Ed: embedded has been disabled by some haters on YouTube so you're gonna have to click the link to get your jam on].

wale is bringin it back to the capital

what if?

What if the Wiz (or the Terps) were made up of ballers from the DC area? We would crush the shit out of everyone. See below (via Rumors and Rants):

WASHINGTON WIZARDS
C - DaSagana Diop
PF - Carmelo Anthony
SF - Rudy Gay
SG - Kevin Durant
PG - Allen Iverson

Bench: Delonte West (PG), Michael Beasley (PF), Grant Hill (SF), Jeff Green (SF), Roy Hibbert (C), Sam Cassell (PG), Keith Bogans (SG), Josh Boone (PF), Jarrett Jack (PG), Joe Alexander (SF), Joey Dorsey (PF), Donte Greene (SF), Roger Mason (SG).

Roster Clarification: Thank you, Baltimore for Carmelo Anthony, Rudy Gay and Michael Beasley.

Breakdown: Talent-laden, the Wizards have a bright future with Anthony, Gay, Kevin Durant and Michael Beasley. Delonte West, Jarrett Jack, Joe Alexander and Jeff Green provide some solid talent off the bench, while Sam Cassell, Grant Hill and Allen Iverson, yes Iverson, provide veteran leadership. The Wizards are among the most talented teams in the league and are a contender in the East.

and1

Hopefully everyone got to watch one Rafer Alston crush the bamma ass Cavs last night. He played well but he can't compare to my main man the Proffessor when it comes to slipping, sliding, and taking to the house.

negotiate like a bawse

The folks over at Lifehacker have a great piece on how to best negotiate your salary at your new job (if you happen to be a lucky American who actually can currently find work). Check it out.

MLIA

Today, I watched an exciting playoff basketball game in which an NBA superstar received advantageous treatment from the officials in the waning seconds of the game, leading me to craft conspiracy theories that the league has some sort of financial interest in extending the season of its most popular young player. My life is average.

just laxin it out

We have been critical of HardPeaches in the past for borrowing content directly from BarStool but this is waayyy to awesome not to post.  That was a good ass sentence you just read btw.

fuck yeah sharks

Fuck Yeah Sharks is the fucking tits. This little video they have pretty much sums up my sick weekend at the beach, but only with far more shotgunning.

my life is average

New site that you jokers need to get up on called My Life is Average. Kinda like fmylife but with normal, typical ass shit instead of embarrassing/sad shit.

Some examples:

"Today at work the customer I was serving was very rude. I told them to have a good day anyway, but secretly I didn't want them to. MLIA. "

"This morning, I had "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" on my toast. I believed it. MLIA."

Peep it.

Sorry about that lack of enthusiasm today, this weekend took a lot out of this guy. Back in form tomorrow.

bunk beds are g

save the princess

Just FF to the one minute mark; I promise its worth it.

three wolf T shirt

Via amazon.com product review:

So I'm looking for threads that say, "Hey baby...I'm real boss!" when I stumble upon this epic creation. The wolves spoke to me in a language all their own; it was like German, Mongol, and Bitchin all mixed together. I mean, one wolf howlin at the moon is major...but three???

I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH.

I'll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shrit; suffice to say, I'm swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I'm also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say "shirts", since I now own 23 of them).

[HT: Magoo]

heres to more expensive cars that are less safe

As you may have heard, our elected officials have decided to pass a bill making mandatory fuel emissions standards for vehicles in America. Before you hug a tree, think about how this will effect our country and our world:

From Megan McArdle:

• It will raise the prices of cars, and make them less safe
• It will reduce our carbon emissions, but not by as much as advertised, because more fuel efficient cars make driving cheaper, so people will do more of it. This "rebound" effect robs about 25% of gains, and also means more congestion, and more wear-and-tear on roads
• This will either help the Big Three compete, or seal their doom as the Japanese manufacturers continue to eat into their market share. If I had to bet, I'd wager this means big ongoing subsidies for our favorite three public charities.
• If you want to cut down on the pollution from driving, this is about the worst possible way to do it. On the other hand, it may be the only politically feasible way to do it. If you take global warming seriously, as I do, it may be the best of a bad set of policy choices.

Land Lady Tell-em

Tony, it was probably those Diaz brothers!

If you don't get the above reference from Scarface, you probably aren't a rapper. I'm not one to advocate drug use, but I do advocate making hilarious mustaches on posters using whatever substances you happen to have on hand.

in summary, our world is doomed

Cutting Pollution

There are two main policy changes taking center stage in the debate over how to best curtail pollution (a negative externality): A Cap & Trade system or a Carbon Tax. I am firmly in favor of the Carbon Tax as it will definitely cut pollution substantially, could be combined with a payroll tax deduction to encourage the incentive to hire, and would be a much more predicable expense for business to plan for. This dude (Phil Levy of FP) does a much better job explaining the issue.

Update: Another quick read straight from the leading proponent of the Carbon Tax.

Restaurant Review: Makoto

I know the CL is the last place one expects to find the uber pretentiousness of a fancy restaurant review but I recently had a phenomenal meal and thought all 7 of my readers might want to be aware of this spot's existence next time you are planning something baller.

Here we go: Makoto Restaurant (Washington DC)

Put simply, the food at this joint is the fucking tits. We had a 9 course meal that featured all the staples of really sick fine dining - excellent presentation, incredible freshness, and inspired pairings. Even Momma Dukes was mad impressed and she tends to know the score on this type of shit.

Keep it in mind when someone offers to pay for you/you have to take your significant other out/you get crucially hungover and ruin mothers day and feel like making up for it huge (as was the case for this guy).

just kidding

I really have developed a serious addiction to TFLN. Best one today:

(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

Goodbye, Freakness

Well the lamest Preakness of all time was held this past Saturday, and really all you need to see are the pre-2009 pictures compared to the photos taken this weekend (via the Washington Post). Huge steaming pile of lame.

From the Post:
The usually crammed infield at the Preakness Stakes, which earned that nickname because of drunken fighting and other forms of debauchery, was far from full as post time neared. Gone were the topless women, and the teens who raced and stumbled across the tops of portable toilets, pelted with beer cans as they went.

To restore civility to what had become little more than an all-day party, officials at the Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore banned spectators this year from bringing their own beverages, including beer, onto the infield. The move contributed to a 30 percent drop in attendance, and it drew plenty of complaints.

Weak. Sauce. Don't be fooled by the "increase in TV ratings" BS that some will cite. There was nothing to watch on Sat (unless you like the Nationals getting smoked at home, as usual).

everybodys doin the dance

tommy boy

Here's my man T-bone killing it in his stand up debut:



Also, he has a blog which is linked to the right; if you don't click on it its probably because you hate Amur-ica.

Jim Cramer is a little bitch

Not sure if everyone remembers CNBC's Jim Cramer telling us all that Bear Stearns was fine days before they went bankrupt. Or the hundreds of other horrible calls hes made over the years. But this Jon Stewart fellow did notice what an assclown Cramer is and decided to let everyone know using his platform on the Daily Show. Well Jimmy is still pretty sore about the whole "exposing his ignorance to the world" thing and is whinying like all dickheads do when they get their comeuppance. God I am so happy I finnally got to use that word. Its fucking money.

"I tried not to take it personally, but it was so vicious," Cramer tells Time magazine, out tomorrow. "The ultimate takeaway from the evening was, Jim, why didn't you defend yourself? And the answer is, I was trying to defend our network and take a high road and I didn't want to hit him with a chair or break his face or something like that. But he was very vicious. One day he'll answer for it."

really, hollywood?

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

I think this *might* be a real trailer for a fake movie. At least I hope it is, because if this shit is real, the creative folks and their bosses who greenlight this shit have hit a new low. And I like stupid action movies with over the top special effects. Keep your fingers crossed.

blowin up in the DMV

FF Cypher 5.9.09: Tanya Morgan x Kenn Starr x Oddisee from jben.ok on Vimeo.

Watch this twice to appreciate how ill Kenn Starr and Oddisee flow on this freestyle. I don't know nearly as much about hip hop as some of my boys but having seen the Roots, Outkast, J5 and Snoop live (several times each) I can say unequivocally that the best show I've ever seen was Oddisee @ Boheimen Caverns back in 2007.

run DC

This is so much funnier than that douchey show for douchebags about douchebags.

ovie in the onion

HT: MisterIrrelevant

do you remember the time

Not sure if you are up on this bitch, but the Foggy Monocle is an occasionally funny site that posts IM convo's typically dealing with blackouts and hangovers. Here is a recent IM convo straight from the CL gchat department:

GIRL: LOL

omg

you are on a ROLL tonite

yes, i remember that

now, lets talk about me

ME: ok, GO

GIRL: remember when i basically was the best thing ever in anyones life ever

stay-tus update!

I'm going to go ahead and assume that 94.89% of my readers have seen this bitch already, but still, check it again, it has aged like a fine wine.

underated show of the 80's

For those of you who are not up on kick ass cop shows from the 80s, respek:

The titular character, Sgt. Rick Hunter, was a wily, physically imposing, and often rule-breaking homicide detective (badge# 089 in the early seasons, badge# 378 in later seasons) with the LAPD

Even after the show's violence was toned down during the second season in hopes of boosting ratings, Hunter and McCall still managed to resolve many cases the good old-fashioned way, by shooting the perpetrators dead.

If you aren't already clamoring to find this bitch on dvd, listening to the money ass theme song will change your mind.

yawn - I could totally do that

Via WithLeather

gotta keep the nerds happy

In some lazy attempt to keep this week at the CL from becoming dominated by the Washington Capitals (just like the Rangers and Penguins. . . zing?), peep this teaser for Conan's big move to Leno's spot:

"i just don't like 'em is all"

it takes so good when it hits your lips

playoff hockey is the truth

As is my man, Ovie who was so fucking money winning game 2 with his three goals that fans littered the rink with hats. The Caps are up 2-0 and our 21 year old goalie is crushing shit.

i wonder what they were doing?!

back in action

Have to apologize to my three (sometimes four when people google the wrong thing in China and spend 2 mins trying to get away from my website) readers out there for the tragic lack of posts this past week. I was rocking out hard down in New Orleans (best city in America not even close).

Anyway, we are back up and running here at the CL and will be spitting hot fire all fucking week. In the meantime check this new well written local sports blog while I lick my wounds from another ridiculous/brutal NOLA adventure.

Oh and big ups to Magoo and Wild Bill who most assuredly saved my life Thursday night. I was going to pay them back with something really expensive, but a huge shout out on the CL is worth like at least four mil.