This is too money not to completely rip off (via The Foggy Monocle):
Brother: i’ve been waiting for you to get online so i can yell at you
Sister: uhhh, what are you talking about?
Brother: when i let you borrow it last night for your “dinner date” i told you to be careful with it
Brother: as i had a sales call and would probably be driving around clients this morning
Sister: i was!
Brother: oh yeah?
Brother: then what was a used condom doing in the back?
Sister: what?
Sister: gross!
Brother: you have no idea how mad i am, the client noticed it
Brother: i’m about to have a FUCKING meltdown
Sister: pfff please that wasn’t from me!
Brother: sure
Sister: you probably left it in there
Brother: i’m 32 years old, i don’t have sex in my car anymore, i do it in my house
Sister: Ha! when was the last time that happened?
Brother: fuck off, honestly just SHUT THE FUCK UP
Brother: when i let my little sister borrow my car i don’t expect her to have sex with a random guy in it
Brother: i’m letting you live rent free while you get things worked out and this is how you repay me?
Sister: oh fuck off you saint
Brother: really? REALLY?
Brother: that’s all you have to say about this
Sister: well even if i did do it, which i didn’t, you should’ve at least applauded me for practicing safe sex
Brother: you’re getting it cleaned professionally tonight, i dont care how broke you are
Brother: how the fuck are these clients going to take me seriously when there’s a fucking used condom in my car?
Sister: i’d worry about upgrading from a Chrysler Lebaron first
Brother signed off at 12:32 PM
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