fatback

Wanted to put my readers on this new group we have been rocking at the CL HQ: Fatback. You can download a bunch of their mixes here for free.

They blend soul and funk pretty well with some strong beats. And my local readers can catch them live around town.

back in action

april fools is right around the corner

burn one down

So my new neighbor down the street thinks that America would not benefit from legalization. I beg to differ, as do countless prominent economists (including my man from Corporate Finance 310, Venkat Subramaniam). Check this out for further empirical evidence on the subject.

Essentially, legalization would transfer all the profits from current black market drug dealers to the government (who could use the cash to fund their enormous spending/stimulus plans).

In addition, we could reallocate the resources currently consumed by law enforcement of drug laws towards the prevention or prosecution of more serious crimes.

Come on Barack, you used to be cool, man.

wise man

My sometimes roommate Chas has dropped this sage wisdom on me today:

"Yeah, you probably shouldn't steal babies"

Like a quotable proverb book he is.

greatest rock and roll adventure of all time? check

must read on AIG bonuses

Very well written piece by a now former AIG employee.

Well played sir.

"None of us should be cheated of our payments any more than a plumber should be cheated after he has fixed the pipes but a careless electrician causes a fire that burns down the house.

Many of the employees have, in the past six months, turned down job offers from more stable employers, based on A.I.G.’s assurances that the contracts would be honored. They are now angry about having been misled by A.I.G.’s promises and are not inclined to return the money as a favor to you.

The only real motivation that anyone at A.I.G.-F.P. now has is fear. Mr. Cuomo has threatened to “name and shame,” and his counterpart in Connecticut, Richard Blumenthal, has made similar threats — even though attorneys general are supposed to stand for due process, to conduct trials in courts and not the press."

drunk cat burglar, not so cat-like

Lately we've been getting a lot of shit from people wanting to be credited for their submissions that make it onto the CL. What a bunch of fucking attention seeking crybabies, right???

Anyway, here's a strong adventure sent from our man in Brooklyn, DG:

give the people what they want

dear gov't - please stop fucking us over

You may have heard of the Administrations new budget plan which is debated here. The best commentary that I have read so far is below:

"The last thing we need now is to give the government (and powerful investors) yet another reason to be invested in maintaining bubble pricing.

As your fellow blogger Dean Baker has pointed out, housing still has at least 20% further to fall before it reaches its historic (inflation-adjusted) trend level. Here in L.A., pricing in some areas remains at 2-3 times that trend level. Quite disturbingly, it remains the stated goal of the administration to stop prices from falling without regard to the trend level, the ownership/rental ratio, or the cost/income ratio.

We as taxpayers are already on the hook for billions with the banks. Any further bailouts should minimize cost to taxpayers while also avoiding further investing the government in artificially propping up real estate pricing. It remains unlikely that such price control is within the government's power. But unless we can accept continuing to tie up excessive amounts of capital in an unproductive asset class and burdening the next generation of home buyers with outrageous mortgages, we need to end the madness and let prices find their natural bottom."

deal of the day

Being an astute student of economics, I can wholeheartedly recommend this promotion as a good deal:

really w/ seth

This is kind of 'old' so I will no doubt be the subject of sarcastic ridicule from some huge internet nerds (like how I preempted your weak ass joaning NRL?) but this is strong:

five facts

This man has a very poor vocabulary. And might need medication as well.

hello

This is why Nicole Richie has way more money than you:

spring break

This vid goes out to my man ZG who unfortunately did not go to college near the gulf coast.

the other, other JC

The story is as old as time itself. Dude goes to Tulane, becomes billionaire, marries supermodel 36 years his junior. Never gets old.

getting picked to make half court shot now best way to earn a living

Had to throw this bad boy up for all you job seekers out there. Rough economy indeed.

the second round will feature crabcakes

Thats whats up.

screwed the pooch on this one

Grossest, most boneheaded criminal of the day:

"Meet Michelle Owen. Concerned that an ex-boyfriend had used her laptop to search for child pornography, the Indiana woman asked police to search the computer for illegal images, but had her plan backfire when cops discovered two videos of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog."

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol:

"a cop told Owen that he had found videos of her on the laptop and asked if she "knew what those files might be." Owen, pictured in the below mug shot, replied, "The one with the dog." Cops believe that the dog in question, Toby, is a beagle. After asking if she was "going to be charged with this," Owen said that the videos "were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers it," adding that she tried to "delete them the next day when she was sober."

Temping

Saw this bad boy on the moving picture box this morning; anyone who has ever worked in an office should peep this. Not sure that I agree with her suggestion that its difficult to 'look busy;' I have really perfected that skill in my travels.

So yeah, tough times out there in the job market; just stay on your grind and keep ya head up.

Kick Ass News P2

Not a lot of news per se, I'm just excited to ruin some perfectly good Guinness and insult the very nation we are seeking to celebrate by ordering up a staggering amount of the Irish equivalent of a "9/11"

See you out there!

Kick Ass News P1

Since I am relatively sure that all my readers are under age 35, you should be happy about this news. Also, today you can mask your raging alcoholism by wearing green and drinking early and heavily without too much judgment from society.

So get moving - down one of those delicious Shamrock Shakes, put you drinking shoes on and go get you some.

Badass Villians Bested

Tough day at the day job yesterday, no time for blogging. Rest easy kids, we are coming back with a crucial ass vengence today. First, check this sick ass article out. [any article that begins with Dr Claw is by definition compelling -ed] Then get some lunch. Check back for more beast ass content as we work our way back to the top of this blog game.

md-duke halftime show

Brought to you by the CL:

Beer The Turtle

So how about that huge upset in the ACC tourney last night (MD over Wake)? Well played by an under-talented Maryland team. In reward for our efforts we get to take on the flaming cameron crazies tonight. Instead of listing the myriad of reasons why Duke is mad gay, I will simply let their own fans show you.

Here is one of their now famous 'cheer sheets' that they hand our to their fans before the game. When they're not raping strippers, those Dukies can be counted on for the weakest joans in the history of joaning. My favorites include:

"To draw distinctions between us and Maryland, we can chant "We don't riot" or "We don't throw stuff"

"Maryland uses the slogan "Fear the turtle" but we prefer "Smear the turtle"

If this is not the weakest shit talking ever, I hope I never hear what is, because I will die laughing/peeing myself with extreme pity for their nerdiness.

They are like that dude you see at a party who is horribly unfunny yet trying waaayyy too hard. Something about that guy; you just want to beat him to death the second you hear his fourth, "Don't go there!" remark. Fucking hate that guy.

thats you protest

This guy is really helping his cause to get the word out on climate change by dressing like a cute, fuzzy animal and looking rediculous. Gotta hand it to him, he is playing the role of "pissed off penguin" pretty convincingly.

talka da towne

Lets face it: its been a rough ass, hungover day. We're gonna take this one home with a lazy HP style techno video. Great talk.

nintendo beats > actual beats

Had to throw this up - 8 Bit Hip Hop is sick!

bad album covers

Rough day here at the CL. Here is a wacky website to check out before you inevitably get laid off - Bad Album Covers.

happy 69th

Today is the 69th Birthday of one Chuck Norris. Here are some things about Mr Norris that you may or may not know:

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

save me Jebus!

Hampton

Caught a bitchin' hippie jam fest last night in lovely Hampton, VA at the Coliseum (or the Mothership as the heads call it). If you've never been to a Phish show, I strongly recommend checking one out before they break up again. Not only are they amazing performers, but the whole atmosphere that the subculture creates before during and after the show is truly an unforgettable experience. Plus there are a ton of white people dancing awkwardly, which is always awesome.

Rolling Stone agrees:
"Given their sense of community, their ambition and their challenging, generous performances, Phish has become the most important band of the Nineties."

Matt, Hendrickson (1998-10-01). "Review of 'Lemonwheel'". Issue #792 (Rolling Stone): pp. 20-22.

NFL exec apparently not well versed in finance

Jags GM Gene Smith on the recent signing of left tackle Tra Thomas:

"He’s the right kind of guy, and we signed him to a contract that is a good, fair deal for us and for him. This is a good value and we feel a logical move for both of us"

Mr Smith - a good value would indicate that you acquired an asset for less than its full market value. If oranges normally cost $5 but I happen upon some vendor offering them for $3 I have found a 'good value'. It is all relative.

Therefore, if Mr Thomas was acquired at the full market price, its not a good value, it actually means you gave him more than anyone else would (unless Mr Thomas rejected a higher offer from some other team which is doubtful, since players rationally tend to maximize their full market value (they sign with the team that "shows them the money" so to speak).

back in nam, i got locked in a restroom

Here's a shout out to my boys in 'nam:

Career Advice

With layoffs looming for many these days, its always good to brush up on your job hunting skills even if you do not plan on becoming a job seeker any time soon (you never know!)

Step 1: Do exactly like this dude and craft an elegant resume and cover letter.

Step 2: Put your feet up on the desk in your new corner office.

Samsonite! I was waaay off!

Buddy of mine pointed out this to me, which I had missed: Jon Stewart crushing the shit out of CNBC. And then some more. Seriously, those guys are boneheads.

old south day

I just reached the part in my new book where Mr Gladwell explains (and proves) why Southerners are so violent. Compelling stuff that I can easily confirm as went to school in the deep south and watched many a Southerner beat the shit out of many a Yankee. Anyway I came across this gem today which I think wins the CL award for Most Stereotypical Crime Committed by A Southerner. To be honest, I don't know if the perpetrator was actually from the South, but since he was arrested for making moonshine and is a former NASCAR driver, I think the evidence speaks for itself.

shake that thing

You know you're walking down the street and see some doofus on a Segway and you think they look like a moron? Now imagine walking into your banker/lawyer's office and speaking with them while they were sitting in this chair. Cracking up uncontrollably yet? Thought so.

pic of the night

So about 20 minutes ago we had the pic of the day. This is the pic of the night. You're welcome.

Ed: Please Read the fine print just to the bottom right of the donuts.

offseason champs

I hope everyone is watching the Terps rock out tonight against Wake (huge jinx, my bus).

Here's our pic of the day featuring the offseason champs and our bonehead GM (click to enlarge):

basic economics

America is designed to get rich
A million and one ways to get paid off this bitch
And most of 'em is legit
Just find a market you wanna target
Produce a service into a product
And your revenue minus your expenses gonna equal your profit

Thanks guy - could have saved me a nice chunk of cheddar (on B school) with that verse.

holy fuck its cold out there

I found myself realizing today that many of my favorite people all tend to share my ability to be completely inappropriate from time to time. In honor of the 3 feet of snow outside that are totally harshing my mellow, were gonna get warm and fix some margaritas. With this dude.

El Nino which is spanish for . . .The Nino

Today's Pic of the Day is actually a fine piece of literature. Not really a picture at all, which is very ironic. Come on, a little ironic.

you're welcome

"Thanks to my most ardent supporters, like you residents of DC (voted 93% for Obama), I am ready to shake things up in Washington. I will do away with the old tax code, were you got to keep the money you earned, and now will require that you pitch in to help fund bailouts for people who fucked up."

these 6'11 dudes are faster than you

Thats how you do debate, son!