live tweeting at its finest

1. rainnwilson
   Throwing bag away. All for now!about 2 hours ago from web
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2. rainnwilson
   Deciding how to waste time next.about 2 hours ago from web
3. rainnwilson
   Digesting.about 2 hours ago from web
4. rainnwilson
   Reading 'Nutritional Facts'. Wow. Lots of fat and calories.about 2 hours ago from web
5. rainnwilson
   Chewing on nuts and shit.about 2 hours ago from web
6. rainnwilson
   Opening bag.about 2 hours ago from web
7. rainnwilson
   I'm going to 'live-tweet' eating this bag of trail mix.

dudes actin like they street when they barely sidewalk

Timmmmayyy!!

im somewhat scared of hieghts, motherfucker

Refreshing departure from rappers telling me how extremely talented and wealthy they are:

that right, put in work

Apparently we are in a recession which means unemployment is really fucking high (unless you are a white college educated male) but the fact that these folks have jobs is odd to me - those looking for work should be able to supplant this assholes:

auto tune is not going quietly

shouldnt've been standin there

captain chaos is a generous soul

goin straight to the top

probably should be drafting this kid next year

best ballads of all time

Quick Debate with the roommates this AM; here my list (no order):

Seal - Kiss from a Rose

En Vogue - Don't Let Go

Styx - Lady

Sister Christian - Night Ranger

REO Speedwagon - Keep on Lovin You

prexisting conditions

Lots of squawking in the DMV these days about health care reform; I admittedly haven't followed the debate as much as I should as it looks like the AARP will have me and my generation bearing the brunt of the cost for the next infinity years.

I have heard lots of talk about pre-existing conditions. I had a pre-existing condition when I was a 16 year old driver - I lacked driving experience (not my fault!) and I paid for this pre-existing condition in the form of ungodly insurance premiums (even for being a dude! Also not my fault).

Apparently these, lets get nuts and call them 'risk factors' made it more likely that I would cost my insurance provider money by making a costly claim. Apparently these greedy capitalist pigs operate under some sort of strange and totally unfair system where customers more likely to cost more money actually have to pay more for this insurance product they have to buy (by law).

Since I and other 16 year old drivers will, over the long term, cost more to be insured; why can't we be subsidized by older, safe drivers? Like the way a healthy 26 year old subsidizes old unhealthy people?

This is probably a bad analogy but thats what bloggers do - we twist the facts and get people to yell at each other!

about that $800 Billion loan, um, yeah

Been out of the blog for a minute but we'll be slowly ramping up again around this bitch. We like to jump back in with a beast ass foreign policy analysis from SNL (yes, the show has fallen off a huge cliff in the last decade but still very occasionally has it moments:

thats how you move shoes

drunk foreigner is on to something

keep ya head up

yes. that was a lie. i was assuming you hadn't read it.

Straight Talk - Stock Market
Uploaded by senatork. - Sitcom, sketch, and standup comedy videos.

are you ready for some mismanagement!?!?!

Remember when we had Sean Taylor alive, a Hall of Famer on the sideline and Chris Samuels leading the way for perennial pro-bowler? Those were the days.

this jerky is OK, but it doesn't make me jittery enough

Since the dawn of time, man has sought to combine stimulants with well, everything. From the coca leaves included in CocaCola to Sparks Energy Drink, folks have always been looking for ways to get up to get down. This brings us to the latest incarnation of this age old quest: PerkyJerky

"Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky is the world’s first performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we’ve combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we add) to provide a jerky experience you won’t find anywhere else.

Whether you love it because it’s the best tasting jerky around, or because it provides a nice little pick-me-up (similar to coffee or energy drinks), you’re not alone. You’ll find addicts in both camps"

Looks like someone

has a case of the Mondays!

fighter of the nightman

1721 is getting pumped for Halloween, son!

its about time

It the age old conflict of hipsters v. bros, I think I have made it abundantly clear where I stand. If you are still wondering, jump off a bridge for being a moron (or not reading this bitchin blog like a bawse).

Hipsters are an ironic sort. Not that in they are actually in any way cleverly ironic in their obvious tastes for non-mainstream sunglasses, beverages and bars but ironic in that their desire to collectively praise the pursuit of irony so blindingly that they themselves have become the very trend following sheep that they profess to pity.

One such seemingly ironic taste that they have ubiquitously embraced is that of the formerly blue collar Pabst Blue Ribbon. Apparently hipsters have realized that everyone doing the same thing is no longer in the spirit of the counter culture rebellious irony. Dagger.

well this is awkward

Here is the Nation's Capital we are treated to wild stunts - like your occasional fake press conference. In your face, everyone involved!

shorty got low

The CL travel department is jumping off to NOLA tommorrow so there will likely be a dearth of beast ass post for the next couple days. Dagger. For you.

Now watch my man break it down:

preach it Riggo!

Here is Hall of Fame Redskins tailback John Riggins speaking truth to power:

does wayne brady have to choke a bitch? yes, yes he does.

This type of conflict almost never occurs in my 4,600 lb coupe that gets 19 mpg. In your face Sierra Club!

[HT: Sheel]

let me borrow $1.5B so I can buy this team

This will not come as news to any Skins fan but good god is the Danny a socipathic douche bag. After 10 years on the job its like its his first fucking day (borrowed from one of the following excellent articles):

Read Drew first. Then Sally.

He bans free speech (he's a little bitch who can't take well deserved criticism from those who have paid for a right to express themselves).

ima die wit my finger on the trigger

the next big thing

rando new band: The Gossip

free beats

who you gonna call?

how abooot some hockey, eh?

Hockey season starts up today which is nice because as a native Washingtonian, our hockey franchise is the only one that is not currently making me the subject of pity and ridicule. Go Caps! Let's go ahead and get fired up with arguably the best pre-game intro video the world has ever known (if you guessed that its from the University of Alaska Fairbank's hockey team, please get out more; via WithLeather):

I immediately regret this decision.

Got some new ink today - Hey everybody, come see how good I look!

mad deep an shit

Jack Handey has been thinking:

Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know anybody: First, take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled-up napkin, and take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy garbage guy.

I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

im keepin the faith

Get your hump day started riiiiiight w/ a bit of De La:

awkard fb moments #2331

ladies do not drop the term fugly enough, it needs a renaissance.

mr geithner, little help?

I know reading about marginal tax rates can bore most folks, but you'd do well to know how the government is going to be boning the shit out of our entire generation for the foreseeable future. Hope all those new sidewalks are worth it!

getting tough

Tommy Friedman talks about the the ol USA getting tough. You know by making smart sacrafices, not stupid ones.

[HT: magoo]

cry me a river

Yes! Yes! Oh let me taste your tears, Tony Romo! Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Mmm-yummy! Mmm-yummy!

-Cartman

oh yeah, this spot hot!

kers

in not makin any deals

This has likely made the round a bit per the number of views on YouTube but like a dog massacring, inaccurate quaterback, you should give it a second chance:

shocking news: gassy old white guy is racist as shit

Personal politics aside, I hope we all can agree that this pill popping douche bag should have shut the fuck up while ago. It makes me throw up in my mouth a little when I consider that morons still listen to him (full article):

Limbaugh said: “I think the guy’s wrong. I think not only it was racism, it was justifiable racism. I mean, that’s the lesson we’re being taught here today. Kid shouldn’t have been on the bus anyway. We need segregated buses — it was invading space and stuff

this is straight hip hop

day by day

we must protect this garage

If you going to be doing any B&E in the near future, I think it best to avoid any houses that have armed themselves with swords. Shit might get real (via the bmore sun):

"A Johns Hopkins University student armed with a samurai sword killed a man who broke into the garage of his off-campus residence early Tuesday, a Baltimore police spokesman said."

[HT: Magoo & Toma$]

just beat it

hate hate hate

Monday mornings after watch DeAngelo Hall get abused are tough. Our super smart QB really fought his guts out*. To help ease the pain, let's hate on some bammas:

Bonehead Ben

*Joe Gibbs speak

just give up

i know you wanna hit that

Hunter Smith Fake Field Goal Touchdown Video | The News is NowPublic.com

Hunter Smith Fake Field Goal Touchdown Video | The News is NowPublic.com

this note is mad eloquent and shit

finally

Fucking links not working, mad annoying. Peep this bad boy!

Bang bang, I hit the ground

This is what happens when you cause a minor inconvenience to an authority figure in the South. Regardless if you yourself are an actual authority figure, you will be shot. Right there, in a municipal building if need be.

"Fire Chief Don Payne didn't hesitate to tell the judge what he thought of the police and their speed traps.

The response from cops? They shot him. Right there in court."

run run run jump!

So guess who's not going to get any work done the rest of today? YOU. That's who.

welcome back, george michael

So it looks like all those wishy washy hipsters have decided to turn their backs on their now former poster boy, Michael Cera. This is great news for me since I hate hipsters and now I may resume enjoying Mr Cera's unique brand of awkward comedy. As you were:

monday funday

In my line of work, Monday's are the tits - I roll in and immediately set the tone for how I plan to crush the remainder of the week. Also, my body has learned not to fuck with me by allowing me respite from the normal condition know as "hungover" as it has long since learned that I will not respect it, no matter the consequences.

[HT: Magoo]

saddle up

My astute readers checking timestamps down there will note that I have lost the ability to sleep in; lucky for you I have not yet lost the ability to post 'ilarious videos of fat people falling:

bamma of the week - rhymes with re-angelo

Tonight all my fellow Skins fas get treated to our typical Sunday - JC and Sanatana fucking shit up b/c they're both money as shit and one over priced free agent looking like a total bust.

Look no further than some well written (full disclosure - I'm an awesome writer) previous posts explaining the career of one DeAngelo Hall. This total loser is earning $23M by letting other guys run by him, around him and basically make him look like the huge bust that he is. From the 2009 Football Outsiders almanac:

In Oakland, Hall had to defend against some of the best quarterbacks in the league, including Jay Cutler, Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, and Matt Ryan. Hall’s four starts for Washington came against Joe Flacco, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Donovan McNabb, and Shaun Hill. Alert readers will remember former Redskins cornerback Walt Harris’ “career year” for the 49ers in 2006. Harris grabbed eight interceptions in that year — including two from Raiders backup Marques Tuiasosopo, two from Seahawks backup Seneca Wallace, one from Jake Plummer (on his way out in Denver), and one from Cutler (embryonic version). Moral of the story: When defensive backs enjoy massive spikes in performance, look at the quarterbacks.

Also, please spare the "but he's defending Randy Moss tonight! Moss is soooo fast!" Please keep in mind that Mr Hall ran a fucking 4.15 40 yd dash and is a full 8 years younger than Randy. Its not that DeAngelo doesnt have speed (he used to be insanely fast in fact) its that he sucks at playing football, and is a huge bitch.

thats enough, shut it down

Sometimes you have to close up shop and move on. Especially if your building is infested with crack ho's according to the Department of Health, apparently (click for larger view).

wait, so monopolies are, like, bad?

The short answer for anyone who has to pass econ 101 is that monopolisitic competition leads to marginal inefficientcies because the monopolistic firm produces at an output where average total cost is not a minimum. A monopolistically competitive market is a marginally inefficient market structure because marginal cost is less than price in the long run.

So basically, Tickmaster and LiveNation are boning you. Hard.

women be shoppinnnn

can i kick it / yes you can

beer me a sweet combo

So this exists:

"This arcade game-styled machine features a fully functioning kegerator in its belly, with room for a 5 gallon keg kept cool by a solid-state thermoelectric cooling system. In addition, it sports a gaming-ready PC, pre-loaded with 69 games such as Asteroids, Mortal Kombat II, and1942. "