Nationalization is such an ugly word

There has been a lot of talk recently about the "Nationalization" of Big Banks. As a capitalist, I find government to be often wasteful, slow and lacking clear incentives to act efficiently. However, as a pragmatist, I have to realize that in some extraordinary cases government intervention is in the best interest everyone (creates the greatest amount of utility in economic terms).

In the 1980's the RTC did a shitload of nationalization of failed S&L's. It worked out as best it could given the circumstances in the view of many. So before you freak out about nationalization being the end of the financial industry, keep in mind that it has been used successfully before and we have rebounded strongly over time.

Also, as taxpayers, we kind of already own most of Citi, AIG, and the other financial behemoths.

And 100% of Fannie and Freddie.

mad wicked sick BMX

Best eBay Product Description ever??

"This is a max wicked sick BMX. It's a Reliance Boomerang and it's done heaps of maximum extreme stunts. I have mostly done stunts on this bike since forever. Once I did a boom gnarly stunt trick on it and a girl got pregnant just by watching my extremeness to the maxxxx. Some details about sickmax BMX: Comes with everything you see including: TOPS AS SUSPENSION REAR FORKS!! 2 x wheels 1 x seat I will even thrown my sick BMXing name for FREE - Wicked Styx. Has minor surface rust on handlebars and front forks (easily removed). More rust on rear forks (as shown in pics). Tyres hold air but are pretty old. Basically, it's an old BMX, but it's radness is still 100% in tact. Tricks I have done on this BMX: Endos - 234. Sick Wheelies - 687. Skids - 143,000. Bunny Hops - 2 (Bunny Hops are gay and my brother dared me to do them, which I did because I'm Rad to the power of Sick). Flipouts - 28. Basically if you buy this bike you will instantly become a member to every club that was ever invented, worldwide, because you will be awesome. Pick up from Richmond in Melbourne. Throw your hands in the air like you just don't mind."

its the rock

Tracy Jordan is a genius. And financial guru. See below:

one subsidy I would like to see eliminated

Like many of you, I rent and do not own a home. Which means, that like many of you, my tax dollars are subsidizing people who have chosen to purchase a home (via the mortgage interest tax deduction). Why? Well our country feels that we should encourage home ownership and policies to that effect have worked out very well in the recent past.

Oh wait, no they completely fucked the entire economy by encouraging leveraged bets on housing.

For some better put together arguments on this bad boy, please see Ed's recent piece.

[via Felix]

don't go spreading HIV with your tears

Got this ridiculous link from a good friend in the Great State of Texas, where everything is bigger, especially the ignorance in high school classrooms.

This can't be real . . . can it? Either way that dude's intensity and passion for misinformation is fierce.

Here is the email in its entirety:

For over a year we (the Texas Freedom Network) has been working hard to survey 1,000 Texas public schools about their teaching of sexual education. The findings were shocking and at times scary to the point where all you could do was laugh. We have written a report as well as 3 short YouTube videos that highlight some of the most shocking and absurd information we found deep in the depths of good ole' Texas public classrooms. Please click here to view the videos.

*keep in mind...this is actual material taken from the SexEd curriculum none of which is fabricated for entertainment value.

You decide.

puff puff pass this legislation

Those crazy hippies out in Cali are trying desperately to make pot legal. Again.

Since their state is filled with stoners and needs cash, the theory is that legalizing and taxing Mary Jane would help reduce their giant budget deficit.

Hold onto that bong, bluntman. Apparently, "the only problem is the State of California can't legalize marijuana. Marijuana is illegal under federal law, and a state can't change federal law."

I'm gonna let my friends formally schooled in Constitutional Law to clear this up for me. Guys? Can we get a probono opinion in the comments?

NFL Combine

For all you non NFL fans out there please consider the following excerpt from Hogs Haven (best Redskins blog in town):

Some of these guys even I can see have no chance of making the NFL. But that doesn't stop Rich Eisen from acting like they could be making the Hall of Fame someday. Nor does it stop Deion Sanders from doing a commercial with them.

Yet there it is, recorded on my DVR and ready to be watched, with careful consideration for each and every tidbit Mayock serves up. If people remain unconvinced that the NFL has taken over this country, look no further than the amount of viewers who make time in their lives to watch future UPS deliverymen attempt the long jump. You really have to hand it to the NFL...300 pound dudes running the 40? Genius.

happy fucking mardi gras

Well Mardi Gras 2009 is officially here. If I were back in the 504, I would be nowhere near a computer, let alone able to form sentences. Let's quickly rank the holidays:

1. Mardi Gras
Celebrates: Booze and Boobies and Whip Its. Nuff said.

2. Thanksgiving
Marked by: Football and overeating. A fair amount drinking helps, but is inevitable marred by family drunkeness which often gets awkward, quickly.

3. Halloween
Plus: Slutty costumes and general excuse to get stupid.
Minus: Due to poorly crafted calendars, can fall in the middle of the week.

This guy (left) agrees that the Gras is numero uno.

hug it out bitch

Here, my friends, is your pic of the day:

just one guitar

When I reflect on my early childhood, I can only look back in awe of how fucking hard I rocked. Like this kid, but with more groupies.

Et Tu, Blogger?

This shit is fucked up. Somehow my homepage is gone, but there all teh posts are available if you click on them down there on the right. It really pisses me off when a completely free service slightly malfunctions. They better watch it, or I'll take my business elsewhere!

great 8

So, yeah, this dude is better at hockey than you. And also everyone else on Earth, so don't feel bad.

This just happened:


And for people who care about hockey statistics out there (all 3* of you) keep in mind that the Caps are 37% in their last 36 power plays. Which is redic, obv.

*Ed Note: Gigantic Overestimation

st valentine

Wow been a tough ass week at my day job. That shit is really cutting into my blogging and raging time. Ok fine, just my blogging time; clearly I couldn't stop raging even if I tried.

You may have noticed a little holiday recently passed. Here is probably the best breakup song/video ever in honor of good old St Valentine.

gotta keep the devil down in the hole

Caught some of the sick ass end of Season 3 last night and remembered why I am such a huge fan of the best show ever made.

In other news, check this out - Wire Characters as Rappers. Be forewarned if you haven't finished the series, you might want to gloss over the captions due to possible spoilers.

dancing as if everyone was watching

If this guy is not on several narcotics, he might be the happiest man alive. Also, thank you internet, for promulgating the ugly (yet horribly true) stereotype that white guys are the most awkward dancers ever.

bottles in the club

Hope everyone had a sick weekend and crushed the shit out of life.

How is your news?

MTV Shows

This made my fucking day. You're welcome.

dorm life

Remember college? I assume I have no readers currently in college, but if I do, please step away from the computer, use the $33.78 in your checking account to buy some cheap liquor, and go get you some!

I digress. Back in the dorms, we had to share showers which some dudes complained about because they were metrosexual pussies and/or were embarrassed by their small packages. We can all agree though, that them joints was gross son. My shitty ass freshman dorm did not however, get this bad:

awkward much?

Easily the most awkward interview I've ever seen. In other news, both of these dudes are still working.

you'd have to be borderline retarded to shop anywhere else

Ashley Schaeffer Motors Commercial - watch more funny videos

feel free to wait in line all night for one of these

I'm probably getting to this late but I found myself cracking up when I saw this on TV this morning.

freedom, apparently not free

Despite having pretty much all the money in the world, this lady is lacking one luxury item that you and I rock the shit out of on the daily, the right to drive a car.

In the good old US of A, you can get a sick legal team which pretty much lets you do whatever the fuck you want.

Unless you are poor.

oldie but goodie

wow. that is just some good old fashioned HP style lazy blogging.

ok, we are boned

http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=1027496846

Not so much due to the dire predictions of these two gentleman on the right in the video, but moreso because of the 'please god give me a fucking-quick-easy-to-digest answer' that the "analysts" at CNBC keep begging for. I view this as a systematic problem with our theory of investing. Asset bubbles will always exist as long as people believe that they can get rich quick, without that rare combination of talent and hard work that has led most wealthy individuals to their fortunes. That or slinging crack rock (or a wicked jump shot).

Everybody's doing it

With the recent development that basically everyone is juicing, I would like to remind my readers that you too are a bunch of fucking cheaters, assuming you have ever used this illicit "Vitaminwater" product.

And while I find our new President to be a very eloquent speaker, I couldn't help but cringe a little at this sound bite regarding the A-Roid scandal where he speaks as if this will be a lesson to our nation's youth.

Here is the lesson kids: if you cheat to get ahead, you might one day be embarrassed publicly. Oh yeah, but you can keep the insane amount of cash that comes as a result of said cheating. So you'll have a lot of shame to bear as you do blow off some Brazilian model on your yacht in St Barts. Think about it kids. Shame bearing is tough.

genius ad man at work

a real american hero

That's right, the GI Joe franchise has branched out from trendy, ironic hipster Tees and has decided to start kicking ass and taking names.

that how you take a motherfucking punch, mclovin!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Hypocrite of the day: Andy Card

Mr Card served as W's chief of staff for during what some (not me) would describe as the worst presidency in US history. Like his boss, Mr Card comes from a background of clumsily running businesses into the ground, having risen to fame smoothly guiding the Big Three Automakers into the 21st century.

I only bring this douchebag up since he was recently quoted scolding our new President for Mr Obama's blanant disrespect for the Constitution as evidenced by his choice of dress while working in his office. Mr Card goes on to further his baseless claim by insisting that good ol W was never caught without a suit and tie inside the oval office.
Please see picture for easy refutation of the above argument. Dick.

Former Capital Mr Zednik

As you can see, he had a ridiculous goal last night. I will most remember him for the Zed Head promotion from DC101 where some buddies of mine and I skipped school (back in 2000) to go to the station at 6AM. In exchange for us agreeing to dye our hair his iconic blond color (at the time), we got free tickets and jerseys. He would go on to notch his first career hat trick that night.

Most people will probably remember him for this though.

This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.

If this shit doesn't piss you off, you should really just jump off a fucking bridge. I am actually far too enraged for my usual eloquent prose right now so I'll Mr Ufford from WithLeather handle the breakdown:


The Preakness is not only one-third of horse-racing’s Triple Crown, it is also the East Coast’s largest gathering of shirtless white guys in cargo shorts. Attracting lacrosse players and sorority girls from Maryland, New Jersey, and eastern Pennsylvania, the Preakness infield is possibly the most public forum for upper-class white kids to act like drunken assholes. However, this year, Preakness officials have made a break with history and will no longer allow alcohol or any other beverages into the infield. Instead, 16-oz beers will be available for $3.50 apiece, which translates to “way more expensive per beer than a case of Bud Light”

What's a great way to ruin your business in the middle of a fucking depression? Make sweeping changes to your product that greatly reduce its demand. Fucking moron.

Shocker: Cash4Gold is not a very reputable business

Any who has ever driven through Hollywood, FL (probably on their way to Miami or anywhere away from the shithole that is Hollywood, FL) can probably attest to the fact that it seems like the home of some fucking scam artists.



It turns out that the shady ass Cash4Gold business is just one of those scams. Wait? A hastily produced infomercial with horrible production values is not a reputable business? Who could have seen this coming?

Hopefully my thrilling expose (above) will get me some sweet cheddar cheese, like this dude who was offered some Cash4KeepingHisTrapShut.

yes, we can?

Big changes coming to Washington and America as a whole. I'm going to have to go ahead and agree with the recent concerns expressed by our friends in the free trade camp (anyone with a decent understanding of economics and David Ricardo) and say that we should probably NOT institute any protectionist policies to help us out of the current economic crisis. A large dead-weight loss is the last thing the global economy needs right now.

This is not the way champs spend their offseasons.

The weak ass Eagles players are showing the world that they will do anything to continue inspiring their city's hatred of them.

I've never played in the NFL (although I have a Lombardi collection on par with Philadelphia) but I will go out on a huge limb with my predictions that interning a a fucking fashion magazine is not an offseason endeavor that translate well to on field success.

25 things

So there is this facebook thing going around (don't act like you haven;t seen it) where people write 25 random ass things about themselves. Like most facebook innovations, I hated it at first. Then, after reading a couple, I learned some interesting things about my good ol facebook acquaintances (lets be honest, people you see less than every month are not really 'friends'; would they pick you up from the airport? I rest my case).

Anyway in the interest of doing the same thing that everyone else is doing (since that is in no way depressing):

• I once used a live rattle snake as a condom!"
• My family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
• My poop is considered currency in Argentina.
• I once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.
• I hate Mexicans! And I am half-Mexican! ...And I hate irony!
• The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on me ... except for the part about planting apple trees... and not raping men.
• I did all the makeup on the Planet of the Apes movies.
• I drive an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
• I orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith & Wesson.
• They say Gene Roddenberry got the idea for Star Trek by listening to me talk in my sleep.
• I once decided that I'm going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. I stalked and killed every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives...except Fleegle.
• Some friends once had a bachelor party for me. I ate the entire cake before they could tell me there was a stripper in it.
• I named the group Sha Na Na. They did not want to be called that.
• If you drop a phonograph needle on my nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' Pet Sounds.
• I taught my son how to drive by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. I said it would've happened sometime.
• I breastfeed John Madden!
• I killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.
• I sleep eight hours a night! Well, I am pretty normal when it comes to that.
• My first name is Bill!
• All the Yes album covers are Brasky family photos.

note to self: don't fuck with this man

Wow. Patrick Bateman can be a raging dick (pause). Also, he may be fucking nuts. As you were.

SB parties

Hope everyone got to a attend a ragingly awesome Super Bowl Party yesterday. I spent the evening decked out in red and white awkwardly rooting for the underdog in a house full of Pittsburgh diehards. My man ZG probably had about 4-5 legit heart attacks during the close contest but his squad came out on top, relegating the Cowboys to second place in all time SB victories.

Actual TM convo after Fitz's beast ass 4th quarter TD:

EF: LARRY FITZGERALD!!!!
EF: How is [ZG] doing?
BB: He's in a glass case of emotion.

Could be worse - someone could have peed on you.

Mediocre College Ball Gets Intense

Great finish to a game that 45 people probably watched. Look at Rice's bitch ass coach get a riled up! What a douche.