Anyway in the interest of doing the same thing that everyone else is doing (since that is in no way depressing):
- I once used a live rattle snake as a condom!"
- My family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
- My poop is considered currency in Argentina.
- I once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.
- I hate Mexicans! And I am half-Mexican! ...And I hate irony!
- The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on me ... except for the part about planting apple trees... and not raping men.
- I did all the makeup on the Planet of the Apes movies.
- I drive an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
- I orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith & Wesson.
- They say Gene Roddenberry got the idea for Star Trek by listening to me talk in my sleep.
- I once decided that I'm going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. I stalked and killed every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives...except Fleegle.
- Some friends once had a bachelor party for me. I ate the entire cake before they could tell me there was a stripper in it.
- I named the group Sha Na Na. They did not want to be called that.
- If you drop a phonograph needle on my nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' Pet Sounds.
- I taught my son how to drive by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. I said it would've happened sometime.
- I breastfeed John Madden!
- I killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.
- I sleep eight hours a night! Well, I am pretty normal when it comes to that.
- My first name is Bill!
- All the Yes album covers are Brasky family photos.
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